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BS”D
Rabbenu Yonah ZTK'L
writes in Iggeret ha Teshuvah
“And
the woman needs to be modest and she needs to be careful that no men
will look at her except her husband, for those
men who look at her hands or face descend to Gehinnom and she
is punished according to the punishment that each one of the men who
looked at her receives, for she made them sin and she did not
conduct herself in modest ways and they stumbled because of her…”
And this is a proper warning for those Rabbis who fear the word of
Hashem to instruct the general public. All women are also encouraged
to show this warning to all her friends |
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The Rambam,
Hilchot Teshuvah: LOOKING
AT WOMEN MAKES IT DIFFICULT TO DO TESHUVAH
And there are five
things that the one who does them finds no strength to do Teshuvah
for them because these things are taken lightly by most people and
the person transgresses them and he thinks that it is no sin…The one
who looks at women thinks that there is no sin involved in this and
he says: Have I had sexual relations with her or did I get close to
her?” And he doesn’t know that the sight of his eyes is a great sin
that leads to the sin of forbidden relations. (The Rambam, Hilchot
Teshuvah 4, 4)
He who looks even at the small finger of a woman in order to derive
pleasure from looking, is like one who looks at her private place
and even to listen to her voice (Which is considered as looking at
her nakedness) or to look at her hair is forbidden. (The Rambam
Chapter 21, Hilchot Issure Biah)
LOOKING AT WOMEN IS A GRAVE
PROHIBITION FROM THE TORAH
My dear friend you should know that a
majority of people think that this prohibition is only words of
Chassidut and are not careful to refrain from looking at women, You
should know my friend that this is a grave prohibition from the
Torah, and the ones who treat lightly this prohibition woe to their
souls because they cause great evil for themselves. We have a verse
that we repeat three times a day: “And do not go astray after your
hearts and after your eyes” And it is written in the Talmud: “Why is
it written (Kohelet 6:9) “Better is the sight of the eyes than the
wandering of the soul” Because it is more pleasurable looking at a
woman than the actual sexual act. And Rashi commented: For the
Yetzer ha Ra it is better to make a person sin through the sight of
his eyes than to make him sin through the actual sin.
(Derech
Pikudecha) |
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IT IS BETTER FOR A PERSON TO BE
CONSIDERED A FOOL THROUGHOUT HIS ENTIRE LIFE BY MAN, THAN TO BE
CONSIDERED WICKED FOR ONE MOMENT IN THE EYES OF G-D
(MISHNA EDUYOT 5:6) |
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The
true strength of a person's piety is demonstrated under the
following circumstances: a devout person does not cast off his piety
even when people ridicule him; whatever he does is for the sake of
heaven; he does not look at women.
His piety is put to the test
especially when he is in the company of other men in a situation
where women are usually around-for example, in a wedding hall where
women are dressed in elegant gowns, and all are gazing at the women,
and he does not stare. For that, he will be rewarded with abundant
good. Therefore, when a man meets a woman, whether she is single or
married, gentile or Jewish, an adult or a minor, it is best for him
to turn his face aside and not to look at her. And so do we read in
Job, "I made a Covenant with my eyes not to gaze on a maiden" (Job 3
1: 1). The verse "He shuts his eyes against looking at evil" (Isaiah
33:15) refers to the person who does not look at women when they are
doing their washing.' When they wash their clothes, they lift their
skirts so as not to soil them and thus uncover their legs; and we
know that a woman's leg is a sexual excitement. And so said the
Sage, "There is no greater barrier to sexual arousal than closing
one's eyes. (Sefer Chassidim 9)
There are desires
that are very difficult to control unless one has been taught from
childhood like for example refraining from looking at women.
Therefore, must a man teach and educate his sons on the right path
so when they grow old they will not abandon it (Sefer Chassidim
10) |
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G-D ONLY DESIRES THE MITZVOT THAT ARE
PERFORMED WITH HOLINESS AND PURITY AND THE MITZVOT GO THE SITRA
ACHRA WHEN YOU VIOLATE THE KEDDUSHA OF THE COVENANT
(He who doesn’t guard himself from
forbidden relations) causes impurity on all his organs and over all
his strength…And when this person does a Mitzvah, it is not
considered thus because the Holy One, Blessed be He, doesn’t desire
it, as it is written: “And unto the evildoer, G-d says, who are you
to relate my statutes” and it is written: “The sacrifices of the
wicked are an abomination” and it is written: “Don’t continue
offering in vain, it is an abominable incense before Me” for G-d has
no desire from his Mitzvot but only when performed with holiness and
purity (Ohr ha Chayim Ha Kadosh, Achare mot 18:20) |
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SEXUAL IMAGES
BECOME FIXED IN THE MIND
When a
person takes to heart the sins of his youth, he should be terrified
and tremble for gazing at forbidden women causes those images to
become fixed in his mind. The Accuser and the evil inclination bring
them before his eyes continually, causing him to destroy his seed,
which is a terrible sin. Do you not see? Er and Onan were eight
years old, sons of the righteous Yehudah, grandsons of our father
Yaakov, peace be upon him, the choicest of the patriarchs. Yet they
were cut off, even though they were from elevated souls. This was
also one of the sins of the generation of the Flood. Any man with a
heart must consider how many times he has come to that, as a result
of improper thoughts. The evil inclination deceives him by trying to
make him think that it happened involuntarily. But his words are
wrong; he is absolutely a sinner, for gazing at forbidden women led
him to improper thoughts, and as a result of this, he further
destroyed [seed, thus] killing his children, defiling the seal [of
circumcision] of the King. But His mercies prevailed in being slow
to anger, perhaps this person will return in repentance and will
mourn bitterly in confession and regret, and will return and be
healed. (Anthologized from Ethical books, Chok le Israel) |
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Who is a Tzaddik? He
who guards the Brit. We learn this from Yoseph, who, by reason of
his having guarded the Covenant, is known as "Yoseph the righteous"
(Yoseph Ha Tzaddik) ( Zohar ha Kaddosh, I, 59b)
Even when one has the
need to talk to a woman, his eyes should look down and not look at
her for any reason, because the life of a person depend on this, and
this will be good for him in this world and in the World to Come.
(Tochachot Chayim, R Chayim Palaggi, Vaetchanan) |
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THE SIN THAT MOST PROVOKES THE ANGER
OF G-D IS DAMAGING THE BRIT
R. Shimon
Bar Yochai said - 'There is no sin in the world which so much
provokes the anger of the Almighty as the sin of neglecting the
Covenant, as we read, "a sword that shall execute the vengeance of
the Covenant" (Lev. 26, 25). The proof is that in the generation of
the Flood the measure of sin was not filled up until mankind became
(sexually) perverted and destroyed their seed. And although they
defrauded each other, as it is written, "And the earth was filled
with violence",' and again "for the earth is filled with violence
through them", yet it was because "the earth was corrupt before G-d"
that the doom was finally pronounced, "behold I will destroy (lit.
Corrupt) them". Thus they suffered measure for measure: they were
doomed to corruption for having corrupted and perverted their ways.
(The Zohar ha Kaddosh 66 –67)
BLEMISHING THE
COVENANT BRINGS G-D’S
WRATH TO THE WORLD
If a
person made a habit of the sin of blemishing the Covenant, his sin
is too great to bear. These are the people who bring G-d’s wrath to
the World, who bring epidemics and death of various kinds to the
world. And this is especially true if his evil inclination incited
him and he committed this evil act in front of other people or
friends or if he incited other people to do the same. For he
desecrated G-d’s Name, sinning and causing others to sin; his sin
grew very, very severe, reaching up to the heavens. This is even
more so if his thirst was not satisfied by this, and he went on to
have homosexual or incestuous relations, for this is licentiousness;
this is a horrible sin and an abomination before G-d. How can he
raise his head? How can he eat or drink? How can he dress in
beautiful clothes while the clothing that is upon him is filthy,
every aspect of his soul, to the point that they drove him far away
from the Master of the whole earth and the daughter of the glorious
King [i.e., the soul], whose glory and honor is blessed and exalted.
He made her filthy and treated her like a vile thing. How can he be
happy and rejoice? How can he fill his mouth with laughter? How can
he look upon other people’s laughter? (Seder HaYom 37b) |
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THE GREAT PUNISHMENT FOR LOOKING AT
FORBIDDEN PLACES
1- Three
things created the Holy One Blessed be He in man, ears, eyes and the
tongue, and to each one of them he created barriers and a wall to
protect them…He put eyelids to the eyes in order to cover them and
hide them from looking at something evil. And the man who
transgresses and hears sin or if his eyes see sinful things and his
tongue speaks evil things then the person did not keep what the
Master of the World gave him to keep, he broke the fence and about
him it is written: “He who breaks a fence will be beaten by a
snake” (Sefer Chassidim, Siman 148)
2- In the
holy Zohar (Pekudde 263b) it is written that there exists a
celestial being called PATOT, and he induces humans to look at
forbidden places, where there is no need to look. And after the
person dies, when he is already buried, this same PATOT comes to the
grave, and gives the soul back to the person. Then he breaks the
bones that surround the eyes, and takes the eyes, and afterwards he
judges the person with heavy and severe judgments, G-d save us.
(Kav Ha Yashar 2)
MAKING MONEY vs. LOOSING YOUR SOUL
3- And
the person should consider the following account on his soul: What
he gains when he engages in buying and selling in the markets
against the loss he has when he looks at forbidden things there and
the evil thoughts he will have thereby. Even if he makes millions,
all the money in the world, will it suffice to compensate for the
loss of transgressing only one sin? (Shaar ha Tefillah, Shaar Nipol)
4- With
the eyes he becomes a servant of the Yetzer ha Ra to look into all
the forbidden and vain places in the world, and through them he will
lose the possibility of enjoying the pleasantness of G-d in the
future (The Chida, Devash le Fi)
5- The
Chatam Sofer wrote (Chaye Sarah): “The Jews, they are holy and
should not stumble through looking at women, G-d forbid, for all who
do thus, are lost in this world and in the World to Come.
ALL THE MACHINATIONS OF THE EVIL
INCLINATION RELATED TO SEXUAL MISCONDUCT ENTER THROUGH THE EYES
6- Due to
our many sins, all the machinations of the Yetzer ha Ra concerning
forbidden relations enter through the eyes, and through this the
person comes to commit all sins in the Torah, therefore the angel of
death is full of eyes, according to the work of the eyes of the
person during his life (Yaarot Devash, Rabbi Yehonathan Eyibishutz,
part 2, 9)
THE EYES OF THE ANGEL OF DEATH ARE OUR
OWN EYES THAT SINNED THROUGH LOOKING AT FORBIDDEN THINGS
7- Our
Master the Chatam Sofer wrote in The introduction to Parashat
Bereshit the following: Our Sages, z’l said (Avodah Zara 20): “The
angel of death is full of eyes and when the time for a person to die
comes, the angel stands above his head, with his sword ready and a
bitter drop hangs from the sword, when the sick person sees him, he
shakes and opens his mouth and the drop enters the mouth, from it he
dies, he rots and his face turns green” And this is difficult: “Why
is he full of eyes? The Gaon Rabbi Natan Adler, zt’l said that when
a person transgresses, G-d forbid, the prohibition of not going
astray after one’s eyes, and savors the taste of looking at
forbidden places, with this transgression he gives eyes to the
Yetzer ha Ra, who is none other than the angel of death, and from
this he is full of eyes, from those same eyes that looked at places
that were forbidden for him to look at, and from this the person
shakes when he realizes that he is the one who, by looking at
forbidden things, caused the angel of death to have so many eyes.
And also Rabbi Yehonathan Eybeshutz zt’l and the Chidda wrote
thus. (Sefer ha Brit, Shemirat Eynaim)
8- The
one who damages the Brit, G-d forbid, has no share in the G-d of
Israel, G-d forbid (The Holy Zohar, Shelach 158)
IMAGES BECOME FIXED IN THE MIND AND
LATER THEY DISTURB OUR SERVICE TO G-D
9-
Everything that a person looks at, the image penetrates and fixes
itself in the mind, and when he comes to pray or to study Torah,
those material images appear in the mind, and they damage and
invalidate his thoughts, and he will not be able to concentrate as
required, because the eyes only see through the power that resides
in the soul and the soul receives those images that come through the
eyes and if the person looks at nakedness, he causes nakedness to
penetrate in a high place (Reshit Chochma, Shaar ha Kedusha)
10- When
a man starts looking at forbidden things and forbidden women, he
causes himself to enter into great impurity [Tumah] (Kav ha Yashar,
ch 2)
11- All
who look at married women diminish and destroy the power of his good
inclination and his good turns to a destroyer (Bet Yoseph, Even ha
Ezer 21)
WHEN ONE LOOKS AT WOMEN, ONE CAUSES
PEOPLE TO DIE BEFORE THEIR TIME
12- The
men who are not careful not to look at women when accompanying the
dead person to and from the cemetery, are the ones who cause that
most of the people in the world die before their time. (The Holy
Zohar II, 196)
13-
Whoever looks at women (t.n. Including pictures in a catalog, TV or
the computer) to enjoy himself, then the spirit of that image comes
when he passes away and hurts him and causes evil to befall upon him
(Yearot Devash, Part a, b) |
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When the Jewish People do not guard the
covenant of circumcision the nations of the world dominate them. (Tikunei
Zohar, Tikun 13) |
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GUARDING
THE HANDS
Rabbi
Abba said: “All those who pass their hands in front of the face of
the membrum are considered as if they reneged on the Covenant of our
father Avraham. (Talmud Shabbat 41a)
Rabbi Eliezer said: It is
written: “Your hands are full of blood" (Isaiah 1:15) This refers to
people who arouse themselves with their hands. The words of the
commandment "You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:13) imply:
not with your hand and not with your foot (Niddah 13b)
The one who grabs
his membrum is as if he brings the deluge to the world (Niddah 13)
SO EVEN IF YOUR
RABBI RIDICULES YOU FOR KEEPING THE SHULCHAN ARUCH YOU SHOULD BE
STRONG AND GO AHEAD FOR IT MAY BE THAT YOUR RABBI BELONGS TO THE
EREV RAV AND HE JUST DOES NOT WANT YOU TO KEEP THE TORAH AS IT
SHOULD BE FOR MAYBE HE WOULD BE EXPOSED AS A FAKE IN THE EYES OF THE
OTHER CONGREGANTS WHEN THEY SEE THAT A COMMON PERSON KEEPS THE
SHULCHAN ARUCH TO A GREATER EXTENT THAN THE RABBI. AND WE ARE NOT
TALKING ABOUT PIOUS PRACTICES BUT WE ARE TALKING HERE ABOUT KEEPING
THE SHULCHAN ARUCH, ESPECIFICALLY CONCERNING THOSE AREAS WHERE THE
RELIGIOUS LEADERS OF OUR TIME ARE LAX ABOUT. FOR EXAMPLE, TALKING IN
THE SYNAGOGUE IN THE MIDDLE OF PRAYERS, DURING THE KADDISH, GIVING
TORAH LESSONS TO MEN AND WOMEN WITHOUT A MECHITZA, HAVING A
DEFICIENT MECHITZA IN SHUL, LOOKING AT WOMEN WHICH IS SOMETHING
FORBIDDEN, ETC |
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There are
three types of men who drive away the Shechinah from the world
making it
impossible for the Holy One, blessed be He, to fix His abode in the
universe, and causing prayer to be unanswered. [One is he who
cohabits with a woman in the days of her separation. There is no
impurity comparable with this. He defiles himself and all connected
with him. The child born of such a union is shaped in impurity,
imbibes the spirit of impurity, and its whole life is founded on
impurity. Next is he who lies with a heathen woman, for he profanes
herewith the sacred sign of the covenant which constitutes the
support of the sacred Name and the essence of faith. As soon as “the
people committed whoredom” with the daughters of Moab, the anger of
the Lord was kindled against Israel (Num. 25,). The leaders of the
people, who did not endeavor to prevent them, were the first to be
punished (Ibid. 4), and in every generation it is the leaders who
are made responsible for all the members of the community in regard
to the profanation of the sign of the covenant, which is “sun and
shield” (Ps. 84): as the sun gives light to the world, so does the
holy sign give light to the body, and as the shield protects, so
does the holy sign protect. He who keeps it in purity is guarded
from evil. But he who transfers this sign of holiness into a strange
domain, breaks the commandment, “Thou shall have no other gods but
Me”; for to deny the king’s seal is equivalent to denying the king
himself. Next is he who purposely prevents the seed from coming to
fruition, for he destroys the King’s workmanship and so causes the
Holy One to depart from the world. This sin is the cause of war,
famine, and pestilence, and it prevents the Shekinah from finding
any resting place in the world. For these abominations the spirit of
holiness weeps. Woe to him who causes this: it were better that he
had never been born. It was counted to the Israelites for
righteousness that, although in exile in Egypt, they kept themselves
free from these sins, and, moreover, fearlessly fulfilled the
command to increase and multiply. This made them worthy to be
liberated. R. Chiya found an indication of the purity of the
Israelite women in Egypt in the text: [4a] “And he made the layer of
brass, and the foot of it brass, of the looking-glasses of the women
assembling at the door of the tent” (Ex. 38, 8). What was the merit
of the women to have made them worthy of such honor that their
looking-glasses should be used for the layer of the Tabernacle ?
Their ritual ablutions on the one hand, and their eagerness to
attract their husbands on the other...
Zohar ha Kaddosh
3b |
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When the Jewish People do not keep the covenant of circumcision the
nations of the world dominate them. (Tikunei Zohar, Tikun 13) |
GUARDING THE COVENANT AND THE EYES
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